Secretly, silently, maybe even unconsciously, we think other people are just like us. We fall in love and assume the two of us see the world through the same lens, even if we get lots of clues that, actually, no, we don’t. So then we spend the next 45 years trying to convince our significant other to see everything our way.
When clients first come to see me, often they say they’re in search of communication skills. What it turns out most are really looking for is a surefire way to get their partner to agree with them. But who has ever succeeded in changing another person? No one I know.
To expect you to see the world the same way I do is a huge challenge. We get exasperated because underneath our point of view lies the question “Why aren’t you me?” Fortunately, the question itself can wake us up to just how absurd our expectations are. To tolerate the otherness in our partner requires generosity (recently found to be the most important quality in a long-term relationship), collaboration skills, and enough faith and trust in each other and what we’ve built together to feel at ease, unthreatened by our differences.
Paul H. Nathan Law Offices's insight:
As we all know communication is key... here are some reasons that could be blocked in your relationship. If you are considering divorce, let us assist you. (866) 414-4091